Face it. We all have a bit of the Tango snob in us. How can we help it? No other dance combines intimacy, creativity, artistry and culture quite like Tango. So it is easy to become a bit chauvinistic about it.
So in a spirit of lighthearted fun, see if you recognize yourself.
You might be a Tango snob if....
You never have fewer than 3 pairs of Tango shoes in your car - and they are all Comme Il Fauts...because you would never wear anything else.
You refuse all verbal requests to dance. Real Tango dancers cabeceo!
You serve mate at your house milonga.
You have been heard to express the opinion that Nuevo is not REAL Tango.
You never arrive at a milonga during the first hour.
Your computer wallpaper is a slide show of La Boca.
You refer to Tango stars by their first names only.
You discuss Tango in Spanish....even though you don't speak Spanish
You complain if the DJ plays anything recorded after 1948.
You don't understand why anyone would ever dance anything but Tango.
TANGO TALK
Sunday, October 23, 2016
Friday, October 14, 2016
As I Get Older....
Those of us who have been dancing Tango for many years, who are now in our sixties, or seventies, or eighties, are confronting a sad reality. There comes a point where no matter how many classes I take - how many private lessons - I am never going to get better.
I have reached the pinnacle. And there is no place to go but down. As my body ages, things that were easy ten years ago become less so. And as I struggle with the aches and pains that naturally come with getting older, Tango is no longer the effortless joy it once was.
I get asked to dance less. I sit and watch while lovely young women dance every dance. And I grieve for what I have lost.
Many Tango dancers, when they reach this point, stop dancing Tango altogether. But not me. That is partly because the joy of teaching Tango - of nurturing a new generation of dancers - never grows old.
But more importantly, aging has a way, in Tango as in life, of burning away the nonessentials, of annealing the experience. What is left is the true meaning of Tango - creativity in intimacy.
I may have fewer tools with which to be creative, as my body refuses to execute some of the dramatic nuevo steps. But Haiku is just as beautiful as dramatic verse, and just as satisfying.
I may dance less, but the dances mean more because they are with partners I cherish; partners I do not need to impress because that is not why we dance Tango.
When I was a young Tango dancer I used to watch the old milonguero couples dance together. Their dancing was beautiful in a way that brought tears to my eyes, and touched me in a way I could not really understand.
Now I do.
I have reached the pinnacle. And there is no place to go but down. As my body ages, things that were easy ten years ago become less so. And as I struggle with the aches and pains that naturally come with getting older, Tango is no longer the effortless joy it once was.
I get asked to dance less. I sit and watch while lovely young women dance every dance. And I grieve for what I have lost.
Many Tango dancers, when they reach this point, stop dancing Tango altogether. But not me. That is partly because the joy of teaching Tango - of nurturing a new generation of dancers - never grows old.
But more importantly, aging has a way, in Tango as in life, of burning away the nonessentials, of annealing the experience. What is left is the true meaning of Tango - creativity in intimacy.
I may have fewer tools with which to be creative, as my body refuses to execute some of the dramatic nuevo steps. But Haiku is just as beautiful as dramatic verse, and just as satisfying.
I may dance less, but the dances mean more because they are with partners I cherish; partners I do not need to impress because that is not why we dance Tango.
When I was a young Tango dancer I used to watch the old milonguero couples dance together. Their dancing was beautiful in a way that brought tears to my eyes, and touched me in a way I could not really understand.
Now I do.
Saturday, October 8, 2016
Tango Drama: Just Say No - Please!
Tango drama -
It is hard to resist.
It is impossible to avoid.
Which teachers are feuding? Who is sleeping with their student? Who is dating whom? Who has broken up, and who is to blame? Who is cheating on their spouse? Who are the sexual opportunists? Who are the dance creeps and stalkers? Whose feelings are hurt and by whom?
Some people enjoy the drama. I am not one of them. If you are another who does not appreciate Tango drama, I have a few suggestions:
1: Don't date within the Tango community. If you choose to disregard this advice, don't talk about your relationship with others in community. And be aware that if you break up, especially if it is a hostile breakup, one or both of you will probably find yourselves uncomfortable returning to familiar Tango haunts.*
*I made one exception to this rule, 16 years ago when I began a relationship with a former student. But we kept it so private that when we got married 5 years later many in the community didn't even know we had been a couple.
2. Don't gossip about other people in the community. Thoughtful news is one thing - salacious gossip is something else. Who just got back from Argentina is appropriate to talk about; who they slept with while there is not. If someone starts a conversation about another Tango dancer that drifts into unpleasant gossip, smile and change the subject. Be aware that if you talk about someone in your Tango community it WILL get back to them.
3. If you have a personality conflict with another dancer, handle it yourself. Do not drag the rest of the Tango community into your personal relationship problems. The exception to this is the groper or the stalker. Such antisocial behavior, if it persists, needs to be brought to the attention of the local organizer. And if you have any reason to believe the behavior is part of a larger pattern, your fellow dancers should be warned. And teachers and organizers need to be willing to warn and, if necessary, ban serious offenders.
4: Support your local teachers, but don't involve yourself in their drama. It is fine to praise your favorite teacher, but avoid criticizing other teachers.
And teachers: Avoid criticizing other teachers and promoters, even if they trash-talk you. Don't try to embroil your students in a competition between teachers.
These are rules that I have developed over 20 years as a Tango dancer, teacher and promoter. Every time I have broken them I have regretted it - except the one time that led to marriage. (in Tango there is always an exception).
It is hard to resist.
It is impossible to avoid.
Which teachers are feuding? Who is sleeping with their student? Who is dating whom? Who has broken up, and who is to blame? Who is cheating on their spouse? Who are the sexual opportunists? Who are the dance creeps and stalkers? Whose feelings are hurt and by whom?
Some people enjoy the drama. I am not one of them. If you are another who does not appreciate Tango drama, I have a few suggestions:
1: Don't date within the Tango community. If you choose to disregard this advice, don't talk about your relationship with others in community. And be aware that if you break up, especially if it is a hostile breakup, one or both of you will probably find yourselves uncomfortable returning to familiar Tango haunts.*
*I made one exception to this rule, 16 years ago when I began a relationship with a former student. But we kept it so private that when we got married 5 years later many in the community didn't even know we had been a couple.
2. Don't gossip about other people in the community. Thoughtful news is one thing - salacious gossip is something else. Who just got back from Argentina is appropriate to talk about; who they slept with while there is not. If someone starts a conversation about another Tango dancer that drifts into unpleasant gossip, smile and change the subject. Be aware that if you talk about someone in your Tango community it WILL get back to them.
3. If you have a personality conflict with another dancer, handle it yourself. Do not drag the rest of the Tango community into your personal relationship problems. The exception to this is the groper or the stalker. Such antisocial behavior, if it persists, needs to be brought to the attention of the local organizer. And if you have any reason to believe the behavior is part of a larger pattern, your fellow dancers should be warned. And teachers and organizers need to be willing to warn and, if necessary, ban serious offenders.
4: Support your local teachers, but don't involve yourself in their drama. It is fine to praise your favorite teacher, but avoid criticizing other teachers.
And teachers: Avoid criticizing other teachers and promoters, even if they trash-talk you. Don't try to embroil your students in a competition between teachers.
These are rules that I have developed over 20 years as a Tango dancer, teacher and promoter. Every time I have broken them I have regretted it - except the one time that led to marriage. (in Tango there is always an exception).
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Some thoughts on "Back Leading"
"Backleading" is a term leaders frequently use when the follower did something he did not expect, and as a result the connection broke.
But that term implies that the broken connection is the follower's fault. I really want to try to stop thinking in terms of fault.
A broken connection can happen for many reasons, including a communications glitch, a balance problem on the part of either person, or differences in style. Blaming all these things on the follower is counterproductive. Let us look at them individually.
Communication between partners is a two-way street. All too often when there is a problem, the follower is told she didn't "listen" to the leader, or didn't "wait for his command". News flash - tango is not a master-slave relationship, or a teacher-student relationship. It is the job of the leader to listen to the follower, every bit as much as it is the follower's job to listen to the leader. True, the leader starts the conversation. But after that, it is a dialog, with the leader making suggestions and the follower adding her ideas.
Lack of balance is one of the most common reasons for a broken connection. This can cause either person to take an unexpected step. In a good partnership, each person is not only responsible for their own balance, but also for avoiding causing their partner to go off balance. Only practice can solve this connection problem.
Style differences are a frequent cause of broken connections. This is why we dance tandas - it gives us an opportunity to resolve those differences, and work toward a mutual accommodation. Compromise is the key. A leader who merely accuses the follower of back leading, and who puts no effort in reaching a compromise, is not a partner. He is a boss. True, sometimes the styles are so different that dancing together will never be enjoyable. In that case both people should "agree to disagree" and find other people to dance with.
When you step onto the floor at a milonga, you have agreed to dance together. Maintaining the connection is the responsibility of both people. Sometimes that means the follower becomes the leader and the leader becomes the follower - either intentionally or unintentionally. Stay connected. Dance with your partner. Forget blame. This dance is about "us", not about "you" or "me".
A broken connection can happen for many reasons, including a communications glitch, a balance problem on the part of either person, or differences in style. Blaming all these things on the follower is counterproductive. Let us look at them individually.
Communication between partners is a two-way street. All too often when there is a problem, the follower is told she didn't "listen" to the leader, or didn't "wait for his command". News flash - tango is not a master-slave relationship, or a teacher-student relationship. It is the job of the leader to listen to the follower, every bit as much as it is the follower's job to listen to the leader. True, the leader starts the conversation. But after that, it is a dialog, with the leader making suggestions and the follower adding her ideas.
Lack of balance is one of the most common reasons for a broken connection. This can cause either person to take an unexpected step. In a good partnership, each person is not only responsible for their own balance, but also for avoiding causing their partner to go off balance. Only practice can solve this connection problem.
Style differences are a frequent cause of broken connections. This is why we dance tandas - it gives us an opportunity to resolve those differences, and work toward a mutual accommodation. Compromise is the key. A leader who merely accuses the follower of back leading, and who puts no effort in reaching a compromise, is not a partner. He is a boss. True, sometimes the styles are so different that dancing together will never be enjoyable. In that case both people should "agree to disagree" and find other people to dance with.
When you step onto the floor at a milonga, you have agreed to dance together. Maintaining the connection is the responsibility of both people. Sometimes that means the follower becomes the leader and the leader becomes the follower - either intentionally or unintentionally. Stay connected. Dance with your partner. Forget blame. This dance is about "us", not about "you" or "me".
Friday, September 23, 2016
Give That Dancer A Ticket!
Many Argentine Tango teachers start beginners off with the so-called 8 count basic - the leader steps back, side, forward to the cross, then a forward-side resolution. Most of my students know how I feel about that.
The 8 count basic starts with two extremely disruptive, often socially unacceptable moves - a back step against the line of dance, followed by a side step toward the center of the room. Neither step is intrinsically wrong. But both can be very wrong in certain contexts.
Consider that side step. When dancing Tango, I often think in terms of a traffic lane. When you are dancing Tango in a large open uncrowded space, your lane is quite wide, and you can comfortably step to the side without leaving your lane. However, on a very crowded floor the lanes are very narrow. The only way to take a side step without leaving your lane is to take it along the line of dance.
It is like the difference between moving into the left lane on a divided highway, and moving into the left lane on a crowded 2 lane city street. The first is both common and exceptable. The second will get you a ticket.
Ditto back steps. Example: if you are driving down a deserted country road and you miss your turn there is no problem with stopping, backing up, and making your turn. But if you did it on a crowded city street you would get a ticket. Same with back steps in Tango. The more crowded the floor the less acceptable they are.
Side and back steps are a part of tango. Everyone uses them. If the floor is crowded we use them carefully, sparingly, with great awareness for those around us, and keep them very small. If the floor is packed like a subway car at rush hour we cannot safely use them at all.
There are no Tango police handing out traffic tickets for dangerous navigation at a milonga, thank goodness. So we must police ourselves, dancing with courtesy, care, and consideration.
The 8 count basic starts with two extremely disruptive, often socially unacceptable moves - a back step against the line of dance, followed by a side step toward the center of the room. Neither step is intrinsically wrong. But both can be very wrong in certain contexts.
Consider that side step. When dancing Tango, I often think in terms of a traffic lane. When you are dancing Tango in a large open uncrowded space, your lane is quite wide, and you can comfortably step to the side without leaving your lane. However, on a very crowded floor the lanes are very narrow. The only way to take a side step without leaving your lane is to take it along the line of dance.
It is like the difference between moving into the left lane on a divided highway, and moving into the left lane on a crowded 2 lane city street. The first is both common and exceptable. The second will get you a ticket.
Ditto back steps. Example: if you are driving down a deserted country road and you miss your turn there is no problem with stopping, backing up, and making your turn. But if you did it on a crowded city street you would get a ticket. Same with back steps in Tango. The more crowded the floor the less acceptable they are.
Side and back steps are a part of tango. Everyone uses them. If the floor is crowded we use them carefully, sparingly, with great awareness for those around us, and keep them very small. If the floor is packed like a subway car at rush hour we cannot safely use them at all.
There are no Tango police handing out traffic tickets for dangerous navigation at a milonga, thank goodness. So we must police ourselves, dancing with courtesy, care, and consideration.
Saturday, September 17, 2016
How to Choose a Tango Teacher
Disclaimer: I am a tango teacher. I think I am a pretty good one. Over 30 years of dancing Tango, I have taken classes from many excellent teachers, and from teachers that did not impress me. Over the years I have tried to incorporate teaching techniques from the best teachers, while avoiding the worst mistakes.
So here is what I look for in a Tango teacher.
How well do their students dance? Equally important, DO their students dance? This is the first thing I look for. Go to a milonga. Watch the dancing. When you see a good dancer, ask where they learned their Tango, and what local teachers they recommend.
Once you have some recommendations, it is time to check out a class or two. Here are some things I look for.
Does the teacher talk for most of the class? Find another teacher. Students learn by dancing. If the students are not dancing for more that half the class time, go elsewhere.
How clearly does the teacher explain things? This is very subjective. Can YOU understand the concepts the teacher is trying to impart?
How is the class pacing? Does the teacher spend enough time covering a topic before moving on? Do you feel overwhelmed with material? Conversely, does the class drag to the point where you are frustrated and bored? Again, this is subjective. Students learn at different rates, and teachers have to try to accommodate multiple learning speeds. So look for a teacher whose pacing works for you.
Can the teacher lead and follow equally well? If not, they cannot teach each part equally well.
Do you like the teacher? In the long run this is very important. I have taken some excellent weekend workshops from teachers whose personalities rub me the wrong way. But over time personality conflicts do matter.
Do your research. If you are lucky you either live in a community where you have multiple choices, or the local teacher is a good fit. But do not hesitate to travel reasonable distances to find a good teacher, rather than settling for someone who doesn't work for you.S
How well do their students dance? Equally important, DO their students dance? This is the first thing I look for. Go to a milonga. Watch the dancing. When you see a good dancer, ask where they learned their Tango, and what local teachers they recommend.
Once you have some recommendations, it is time to check out a class or two. Here are some things I look for.
Does the teacher talk for most of the class? Find another teacher. Students learn by dancing. If the students are not dancing for more that half the class time, go elsewhere.
How clearly does the teacher explain things? This is very subjective. Can YOU understand the concepts the teacher is trying to impart?
How is the class pacing? Does the teacher spend enough time covering a topic before moving on? Do you feel overwhelmed with material? Conversely, does the class drag to the point where you are frustrated and bored? Again, this is subjective. Students learn at different rates, and teachers have to try to accommodate multiple learning speeds. So look for a teacher whose pacing works for you.
Can the teacher lead and follow equally well? If not, they cannot teach each part equally well.
Do you like the teacher? In the long run this is very important. I have taken some excellent weekend workshops from teachers whose personalities rub me the wrong way. But over time personality conflicts do matter.
Do your research. If you are lucky you either live in a community where you have multiple choices, or the local teacher is a good fit. But do not hesitate to travel reasonable distances to find a good teacher, rather than settling for someone who doesn't work for you.S
Saturday, September 10, 2016
It's OK To Be Average
At any milonga there are always a few dancers that catch everyone's attention. Their dancing is superb; their lead and follow is effortless; their musicality is outstanding.
And then there is everyone else. They are the dancers whose style is not particularly noteworthy, whose lead and follow is adequate, and whose musicality at least shows that they are listening to the music.
It is not necessary to be the best. It is not even necessary to be the best you can be. It is OK to be average. Most people are. I would much rather dance with an average dancer who is seriously into sharing the experience than a superb dancer who is seriously into his own dancing.
It is OK to love Argentine Tango without being fanatic about it. Passion is intoxicating, it is true - and Argentine Tango can certainly inspire intense passion. But it is also Ok to merely enjoy Tango. It is OK to dance Tango without spending all your excess hours and dollars on Tango classes and lessons. It is OK to relax, be yourself, and enjoy interpreting the music in the arms of a congenial partner, without feeling inadequate because you are not one of the best dancers on the floor.
A very wise Tango dancer once said "Competitive Tango makes as much sense as competitive kissing". Striving to be the best at Tango is kind of like striving to be the best at sex - or meditation. There is always more to learn, but if you allow what you do not know or cannot do to spoil the pleasure of the moment, you have missed the point.
Once you have learned the basics of floor-craft, and how to lead and follow comfortably, you have all you need. Two average dancers can love the dance together just as well as the best dancers on the floor.
So dance your own Tango, based upon your own desire, ability, and resources. It is your Tango. Enjoy.
And then there is everyone else. They are the dancers whose style is not particularly noteworthy, whose lead and follow is adequate, and whose musicality at least shows that they are listening to the music.
It is not necessary to be the best. It is not even necessary to be the best you can be. It is OK to be average. Most people are. I would much rather dance with an average dancer who is seriously into sharing the experience than a superb dancer who is seriously into his own dancing.
It is OK to love Argentine Tango without being fanatic about it. Passion is intoxicating, it is true - and Argentine Tango can certainly inspire intense passion. But it is also Ok to merely enjoy Tango. It is OK to dance Tango without spending all your excess hours and dollars on Tango classes and lessons. It is OK to relax, be yourself, and enjoy interpreting the music in the arms of a congenial partner, without feeling inadequate because you are not one of the best dancers on the floor.
A very wise Tango dancer once said "Competitive Tango makes as much sense as competitive kissing". Striving to be the best at Tango is kind of like striving to be the best at sex - or meditation. There is always more to learn, but if you allow what you do not know or cannot do to spoil the pleasure of the moment, you have missed the point.
Once you have learned the basics of floor-craft, and how to lead and follow comfortably, you have all you need. Two average dancers can love the dance together just as well as the best dancers on the floor.
So dance your own Tango, based upon your own desire, ability, and resources. It is your Tango. Enjoy.
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